


Golden Snitch

by Ouijakind



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Substance Abuse, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:33:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28879539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ouijakind/pseuds/Ouijakind
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Kudos: 4





	1. First Day

(Harry's POV)

Harry was so exhausted, he'd been dodging reporters all week. Thankfully the train to Hogwarts was so quiet it was blissful. Everyone wanted the scoop on why Harry Potter quit the most promising job in the wizarding world, for some lowly teaching job.

In all honesty Harry wanted to be done with fighting for his life, he'd been doing so for all his 25 years and for once he just wanted to settle down and live a nice quiet life of a teacher, however if the curse of the DADA professor is true he wouldn't be living such a safe and quiet life. 

Harry sighed and sat back as he rode on the Hogwarts Express. He'd soon be back at the school he knew better than any battle ground he'd fought on. He'd only been back once since the war, just after everything had been rebuilt and Hogwarts was back to her original glory. It was almost as if the war had never happened there. Almost.

When Harry was young - just a first year - he'd heard many of his classmates say how frightening Hogwarts was, however while at first intimidating Hogwarts quickly became a warm and welcoming home for the famous wizard. It was the one place besides the Burrow that actually felt like home. Despite its troubling history with Potter and the awful things he experienced there, it was still a fond home to him and he was elated to be returning.

His mood was somewhat diminished when he saw a relatively unwelcome and familiar face as he approached the gates of Hogwarts.

"Draco Malfoy as I live and breathe" Harry said biting back a few unsavoury comments he'd probably get hexed for muttering 

"Ah Potter, I heard you'd been offered a position here. Believe me I had no idea you'd take it given your steady trajectory in the Auror field" he said as sophisticated and ponce like as always.

"Don't believe everything you read Malfoy" Harry said coldly before walking past him and into the school. He had no intention of dragging up the past and could certainly work alongside Malfoy with ease. But that didn't mean he wanted to speak to him any longer than necessary nor did he want to talk to him about his decisions.

He didn't look back to see Malfoy's reaction as he made his way to the Grand Hall to be welcomed by headmistress Minerva McGonagall. She was to give everyone their schedules for the week before school started as well as introduce everyone to new coworkers. 

"Greetings everyone, I'm so pleased to see you all here today" Minerva started "As you can see there have been some additions to our staff and I'm pleased to announce that, our own Mr Potter, Mr Malfoy and Miss Lovegood have joined us as professors. I'd be pleased to see you all working together and treating everyone here as family" she said looking directly at Malfoy and Harry for the last part.

Malfoy nodded and smiled his usual charming smirk "Of course Minerva, I think it's safe to say petty childhood squabbles were left behind after... After the war" he said the last part rather uncomfortably, Harry could understand that, it wasn't a fond memory for anyone. 

Harry nodded in agreement along with everyone else at the table. Minerva smiled and nodded "Good, now I'd like for you all to refer to each other by first names as we are all equil now. Draco as well as our new potions professor I'd like for you to be the head of Slytherin house" she said. 

Malfoy smiled another charming smile and nodded "It would be my honour" he said, Harry had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Admittedly that would be quite a juvenile thing to do but old grudges die hard. It was difficult not to find everything Malfoy did irritating. 

Minerva smiled wider and turned to Harry "And Harry as well as our new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor I'd like for you to be the head of Gryffindor house" she said. Harry nodded as a way to say he accepted the position but kept quite. 

Minerva McGonagall continued to assign Luna to be the head of Ravenclaw house and Hannah Longbottom as head of Hufflepuff house. It has been a long time since Harry had seen Neville and Hannah and it was honestly good to see them together and happy especially after Hannah found out she couldn't have children because of a curse thrown at her in the war.

They decided rather than let this ruin their marriage they'd work through it together and fill their want of children by working at Hogwarts and eventually maybe adoption. It was obvious to everyone how much they loved each other and made each other better, Harry both envied and respected that. 

He and Ginny never had such a connection, he had thought he loved her but he'd been lying to himself, he just wanted to keep one person who loved him. He knew it was selfish and even potentially dangerous so he let her go before they got married. Harry did envy those in love but never wanted to be that vulnerable again. 

Once everyone had discussed their training and when Minerva wanted their lesson plans, they ate and were lead to their rooms by the house elves. Soon everyone had split off and it was just Harry and Malfoy left. The house elf stopped and handed them their keys "These rooms are yours master Potter and these are yours master Malfoy" he said. Of course they had to have rooms right next to each other. It's not as if they were in a huge castle and rooms were limited.

Malfoy smiled warmly and nodded "Thank you, that is all we'll be needing" he said with an air of genuine gratitude. Harry looked at him with raised eyebrows as the house elf dissappeared with a quiet pop. 

"What's with the face Potter?" Malfoy asked with an amused smirk playing on his lips. 

Harry shook his head and returned to his regular hardened neutral face "Just a little strange to see the man I once thought was a spoiled brat treat something lower than him with respect" he said unlocking his door 

Malfoy raised an eyebrow at him "Once thought? Has your opinion on me changed?" he asked with genuine curiosity

Harry let a small smile spread over his lips for the first time that day, he wondered if he could catch the Slytherin off guard "That's yet to be decided" he said, revelling in the small amount of shock on Malfoy's face, before disappearing off into his rooms.


	2. First Name Basis

(Draco's POV)

To say that Draco's first day back at Hogwarts was strange was a very large understatement. First of all seeing Potter making his way over to the gates of Hogwarts was enough to make him do a double take. He hadn't seen Potter since the trials and he looked very different from then. Now he was cold and distant, he had a hard expression and a sad empty air around him. It almost made Draco pity him, if it weren't for the act of pity being a great insult to a Malfoy he probably would have. 

When he watched Potter dissappear into his rooms he couldn't help but just stare, seeing him again brought up a lot of emotions from their early days. Draco always had a secret fondness for Harry though he'd hardly admit it, not even to himself, seeing him again and knowing they were going to be working and living so close filled Draco with both dread and childish giddiness. 

He took a deep breath and shook his head before unlocking his door and making his way into his rooms to begin decorating them. After everything was in its place and Draco was happy with the decor he grabbed his bottle of fire whiskey and made his way next door. 

Draco composed himself, swallowing the sudden flush of fear that began creeping in, before knocking on Potter's door "It's open!" called Harry from within. 

Draco rolled his eyes at the behaviour, his mother would be appalled, gentlemen opened the door for a visitor. He opened the door to see Harry sat on a plush dark green love seat in the front room staring into the fire. Draco cleared his throat and took a small step inside 

"If you don't have any other plans tonight I thought it'd be nice for us to start fresh and get to know each other over a glass of fire whiskey" he said, trying to keep his nerves in check. Harry has always been completely unpredictable and unreadable for Draco and that made him very nervous.

Harry then turned to look at him for the first time since he opened the door and smiled a little "It's been quite a day, a glass of fire whiskey and light conversation sounds pleasant" he said softly. 

Draco smiled a genuine smile and nodded, tension easing from his frame, before correcting himself and retuning to his regular smirk. He made his way further into the room closing the door behind him and joining Harry on the sofa. Looking around it seemed that he and Harry had decorated their rooms with a very similar colour scheme. 

Harry smirked knowingly at Draco as he got two tumblers from the drinks cabinet "Expecting more Gryffindor colours?" he asked slightly amused. 

Draco nodded looking back at Harry "I was expecting copious amounts of garish red and that obnoxious gold" he said with a slight sneer as he thought of the, in his opinion, hideous colours. 

Harry let out a light chuckle, it was nice, Draco couldn't remember the last time he'd heard Harry laugh or even smile genuinely for that matter. Harry sat back next to him and put the glasses on the coffee table in front of them "Well you see, while I do enjoy my - garish and obnoxious - house colours. Green happens to be my favourite colour" he said taking the bottle of whiskey from Draco and pouring them each a glass. 

Draco nodded a little surprised, the Harry Potter, saviour and star of Gryffindor, loved Slytherin colours. He nodded in thanks to Harry before taking a swig of the burning alcohol. Harry downed the whole double of whiskey with ease and poured himself another. Draco raised an eyebrow but didn't question him, instead he finished his glass and Harry poured him another 

"So Harry, are you looking forward to teaching at Hogwarts?" he asked genuinely curious. Harry sipped his whiskey and smiled a little. 

"Harry?" he asked raising an eyebrow at Draco. 

Draco shifted a little, that hadn't been intentional, he quickly regained his composure and nodded wearing his regular smirk "Why yes Harry, we're coworkers now and it's only appropriate that we refer to each other on a first name basis" he said taking another sip of his drink. Quick save, classic Slytherin.

Harry smiled a little more before nodding, he didn't seem to notice "I suppose you're right Draco I just wasn't expecting it. In answer to your question yes I am very much looking forward to teaching here. I've missed Hogwarts dearly these past 6 years despite everything that happened here" he said sitting back and presumably getting more comfortable. 

Draco nodded sipping his drink, he too had missed the halls and comforting warmth of Hogwarts. Its safe to say terrible things happened to the both of them here however worse things happened elsewhere. Malfoy Manor for example, could no longer be called home to Draco after The Dark Lord tainted it with his presence.

Harry looked over at Draco and for the first time in a very long time actually smiled like he used to. A warm and genuine smile, a whisper of youth returning to his eyes "It's good to see you back to your regular self" he said softly "I wasn't very fond of the Draco I remembered from the war and I in all honesty hated seeing you the way you were at the trial" Harry said.

Draco froze remembering the trials. He was so certain he was going to Azkaban, he stumbled into the courtroom in loose fitting prisoners clothes and stood before the members of the ministry. He looked worse than he ever had before, he was skinny and pale with paper white skin that looked just as thin and fragile. He didn't bother looking up as the members began speaking, it was only when they asked for Harry's statement that he looked up and locked eyes with the saviour himself. His green eyes filled with so much sadness and hurt, he shook his head "Draco Malfoy and his mother Narcissa Malfoy are both innocent. Their crimes against the wizarding world in the war were those of wizards trying to stay alive under the thumb of Voldemort" he said and stood "Draco Malfoy saved my life when he was asked to identify me when snatchers caught Ron, Hermione and I. Draco recognised me and risked his own life to save mine. Narcissa also saw that I was still alive after Voldemort cursed me, she lied to him and saved us all" he said before looking directly into Draco's eyes "Without him and his mother a lot of us wouldn't be here today" he said.

The ministry couldn't fight against the saviour and so even though Draco had the dark mark he and his mother were sentenced to a house arrest for a number of months which they served and then they were free. Truly and completely free for the first time ever. 

Draco took a deep breath and closed his eyes shaking the memories from his mind "Thank you for your statement in the trials. Without you I'd have been sent to Azkaban with my father" he said. 

Draco jumped a little when he felt Harry's hand on his shoulder, it was very comforting "You're not evil Draco, you have great potential and a kind heart" he said softly making Draco open his eyes and look at Harry in surprise "You were just a right git through school because of your father's twisted political views" he said shrugging and pulling his hand away.

It was a nice feeling, Harry's hand on Draco's shoulder. Physical comfort wasn't something Draco was accustomed to but very much craved. Draco just simply nodded and drank some more of his whiskey, downing the glass and pouring himself another. Many emotions swirled through his mind, he'd hoped some things wouldn't return but they had. He pushed them away and tried to enjoy his evening.

The night followed on just like that, pleasant conversation between coworkers and a few chuckles and smiles from Harry that made Draco almost giddy to see. After they had made their way through just over half of the bottle Draco bid Harry a goodnight and made his way back to his rooms.

He closed the door behind him and slid down the wall "What in Merlin's name am I doing?" he asked himself. He rested his head in his hands and took a few deep breaths before pulling himself together and getting up. He got into the shower and put his not so new newfound fondness for Harry down to the alcohol and the heat of the moment. Deciding that's definitely the reason he climbed into bed and put the night to an end.


	3. Nargles

(Harry's POV)

Last night was the first time in a very long time that Harry actually had a nice relaxed time laughing and smiling. He hadn't been that comfortable and content in a long time. And to think it was all spent with Draco Malfoy. Harry woke up not really getting much rest, not that he usually did because of his nightmares. He yawned and rubbed his eyes as he got up and made his way to the bathroom to take a much needed shower as his pajamas were soaked through with night sweats. He smiled as he remembered last night, he would never have expected it but Malfoy was actually quite pleasant company when he wasn't wearing that infuriating dumb smirk and he was gracious enough to avoid subjects Harry seemed too uncomfortable to talk about. 

Harry finished cleaning himself and climbed out of the shower, after breakfast he'd have to get a start on his lesson plans before training later that day. He got dressed in his teaching robes, he'd taken a little more pride in his appearance since his time at the ministry, they provided very nice robes for their employees and Harry had become comfortable with the more expensive and formal attire. He still enjoyed wearing his muggle clothes, just not as often. He fixed his hair so it wasn't so messy and made his way out of his rooms, towards the Grand Hall for breakfast with the rest of the staff. Harry was one of the last to join them and took great pride in seeing Malfoy... No Draco's reaction to his well dressed manor, man he'd have to get used to calling Draco by his first name. It was very fun however to keep catching the man off guard, breaking through the Malfoy facade just for a moment. He fought back a confident smirk and sat down next to Neville who turned from his conversation with his wife to greet Harry.

Neville smiled warmly at him and absently played with Hannah's hand "Morning Harry" he greeted in his regular cheery demeanor.

Harry smiled politely and nodded "Good morning Neville, and good morning Hannah" he said before beginning to load his plate with food. Neville went back to his conversation with his wife and Luna made her way into the hall apologising for being late and claiming that the nargles stole her shoes again. Harry rolled his eyes fondly and motioned for Luna to sit beside him.

Luna smiled her usual airy smile and pressed a kiss on Harry's cheek before sitting beside him "Dear Harry, how are you this morning?" she asked placing her hand on his forearm.

Harry smiled at her and tapped her hand affectionately. He'd always had quite a soft spot for Luna, as nutty as most thought she was, she was also very kind and sweet to everyone. Truly if she wasn't so clever and intuitive you'd believe she belonged in Hufflepuff but she also understood Harry's pain in a way no one else did. Harry nodded "I'm quite well, and you dear Luna? Troubles with the nargles again?" he asked 

Luna nodded and sighed "I'm afraid they have stolen my shoes once more" she said. 

Harry chuckled softly and shook his head "I'll help you look for them before training today" he said. 

Luna smiled at him and nodded "Thank you Harry" she said and kissed Harry's cheek again as she often did with many of her friends. It was normal to Harry now, he couldn't help but notice Draco stiffen and look away when Luna did so. 

This amused Harry. Despite his new opinion of Draco, he still had a small part of him that relished in Draco's discomfort.

He smiled and looked back down at his plate. Once everyone had eaten their breakfast Minerva stood.

"Good morning everyone, today's topic of training is N.E.W.T.S and O.W.L.S. Training will start at 2pm sharp right here, in the mean time you are free to get reacquainted with the castle and start on this terms lesson plans" Minerva said. After she dismissed everyone Luna took Harry's hand and lead him out of the hall to begin looking for her shoes. Harry snickered seeing Draco react the same way when he saw Luna hold Harry's hand.

Luna hummed melodically and swung their hands together as they walked down the halls "You know, no matter what happens here, Hogwarts will still be beautiful. It just had this warm, gentle energy that welcomes you" she said distantly before pausing "Like gravy" she added.

Harry chuckled and nodded in agreement "No matter what this will always be home" he said looking around. At first when he met Luna he didn't believe in these "Nargles" she'd always complain about but through the years of knowing Luna he's found things have gone missing and turned up in the strangest of places and he had to admit he did have some belief that they do exist even if there is little to no evidence.

Luna paused and looked at Harry. He frowned and looked back at her "You alright Luna?" he asked. 

Luna tilted her head a little to look directly into Harry's eyes. She stared for a moment before a bright wide smile spread across her face "Oh Harry this is wonderful!" she exclaimed doing a little happy twirl. 

Harry chuckled and shook his head "Luna what is it? What's wonderful?" he asked utterly befuddled.

Luna laughed lightly and put her hands on either side of Harry's face "Oh you'll see, you have to be the one to discover it. Oh but it really is wonderful. I'm so happy for you Harry" she said and laughed again but it wasn't a malicious laugh, it was a genuine delighted laugh. It's no wonder Minerva recruited Luna for Divination, she and professor Trelawney had the same air about them. There was a lot of speculation that she was going to enter the world of Magizoology but once Minerva reached out to her she confessed to me that she couldn't resist.

Harry smiled wider and removed Luna's hands from his face "I'm glad to hear you think something wonderful is happening" he said not really believing that anything extraordinary was going to happen to him.

Luna smiled wider and twirled away "Oh this will be so very fun" she said before skipping away "See you later Harry!" she called as she left him standing in the hall smiling at his nutty friend.

Harry shook his head and made his way back to his rooms so he could start his lesson plans before he had to go back to the Grand Hall for training. He turned the corner with his smile still playing on his lips and almost run into Malfoy. 

"Oh sorry Mal- er Draco. I wasn't paying attention" Harry said quickly correcting himself and taking a step back.

Draco scoffed and brushed invisible debris off his robes "Have a nice stroll with miss Lovegood?" he asked in a mocking tone.

Harry smiled a little, if he didn't know any better he'd think that Mr Malfoy was jealous. Of course that was impossible, but the thought was too tantalising to ignore. Harry nodded and leaned against the wall "I did thank you, she's quite marvellous company. I was helping Luna look for her shoes and we had a nice conversation about Hogwarts" he said watching Draco's expression sour.

Draco scoffed "Mighty brave of you to subject yourself to more fuel for the Daily Prophet" he sneered.

Harry frowned and shook his head "What in Merlin's name are you talking about?" He asked, not sure what he meant by that.

Draco barked one short laugh "Please! You and Luna were all over each other at breakfast, it was highly inappropriate" he said sharply.

Harry paused before breaking out in hysterical laughter, which only enraged Draco more. By the time Harry finally caught his breath, Draco was visibly twitching with anger. He was jealous! Oh this is too good!

Harry shook his head "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just" he began before giggling a little more and taking a deep breath "Luna is engaged! She's like a sister to me" he finished before laughing more, wiping away a tear and holding his stomach. He hadn't laughed that hard in a long time.

Draco's anger deflated like a balloon and he looked sheepishly down at his feet "So why were you looking for her shoes?" he asked pretending he hadn't just reacted like a jealous teenager.

Harry shrugged and decided to play along, Draco had been embarrassed enough and Harry had gotten a good laugh in "The nargles stole them" he said casually after he'd calmed down.

Draco frowned and looked at him with genuine bewilderment "What the bloody hell is a nargle?" he asked. 

Harry shrugged again looking away, as if picturing them "Nasty little creatures, terribly mischievous thieves and they infest mistletoe" he said "Although it's strange to find them out and about this time of year" he added thoughtfully.

Draco nodded and mumbled something about being somewhere else before walking away. Harry smiled and tried his best not to start laughing again before he made his way into his rooms to get started on his lesson plan. 

After a few hours, two strong brews of tea and a brief nap Harry finished his draft to give to Minerva tomorrow morning. He stretched and straightened his robes before making his way out of his rooms and towards the Grand Hall for training.


	4. Mischief Managed

(Draco's POV)

After a long afternoon of teacher training Draco was glad to be free to do as he wished for the evening. While he did very much enjoy learning and it proved a helpful distraction from the embarrassment that had happened earlier, hours of learning about O.W.L.S and N.E.W.T.S was not his favourite way to spend his time. He made his way back to his rooms and slipped out of his robes which bore heavy on his shoulders by the time the sun went down. He yawned and looked around the front sitting room. He had finished his lesson plan this morning and he had replied to his letters.

He could easily just take a shower and have an early night but he was too wound up to sleep yet. Draco still couldn't believe he'd lost his composure like that this morning, it was very unlike him. Instead of relentlessly cursing himself he decided since curfew didn't apply to him anymore he'd take a stroll through the halls of Hogwarts. 

He pulled on a lighter more casual set of robes before making his way out of his rooms. Walking through this school brought back many memories for Draco. He smiled and stopped at the courtyard. He could almost see himself, Blaise and Pansy laughing together under the tree. He made his way into the courtyard and sat on the stone bench, despite the fact that it was late August it was still really warm out even after the sun went down. 

Draco closed his eyes and smiled, relaxing and letting himself enjoy the warm quiet serenity of the moment. However it didn't last long when he heard a small voice whisper "Mischief Managed"

Draco sighed and opened his eyes "Silence is golden" he said softly "Too bad it doesn't last very long" he said a little begrudgingly as he looked around for the source of the voice.

Harry stepped into the moonlight and smiled sheepishly "Sorry to disturb you" he said hiding something behind his back. 

Draco frowned, he had many questions running through his head, such as why he was here, why he said "Mischief Managed", what was he hiding. But he just settled with shaking his head and closing his eyes again enjoying the warmth and light breeze "Quite alright Potter" he said before looking at him "Sorry, Harry" he corrected.

Harry nodded and smiled the same smile he wore last night "What brings you out here at this time of night?" he asked slowly, taking a few steps further into the courtyard. 

Draco smirked and raised an eyebrow at him "I could ask you the same thing" he said. 

Harry rubbed the back of his neck and looked down. Draco smiled at him, Harry was cute when he was being bashful, it almost made up for his arrogance. He would never have told anyone however but safely in his mind he could admit that there was a lot to admire about Harry. 

Draco hummed softly and looked up at the sky "We all have our reasons Harry" he said softly, though his alone time was brief it was enough to loosen the knots in his muscles.

He heard Harry take a few more steps before stopping in front of him "May I join you? Nowhere else catches the moonlight softly like the courtyard" he asked in a small voice. It wasn't a voice Draco would have imagined coming from the legendary Harry Potter but it oddly suited him quite well. It was a nice reminder that Harry is still a regular wizard with limitations.

Draco nodded still looking up at the night sky "As long as you're quiet" he said. 

Harry nodded and sat down next to Draco on the bench. He couldn't deny that being this close to Harry made his hair stand on end and goosebumps raise along his skin. There was always this static electricity between the two of them, Draco had always tried to tell himself it was because of his "intense hatred" for Harry but he always knew there was a far deeper meaning to it. He and Harry have always had a strange connection, like magnets. He never let himself think on it too much before, due to fear, but it was always there. 

It wasn't an unpleasant feeling - the atmosphere around them - it was a nice warm feeling in the pit of his stomach, like a cup of hot coco on a cold winter day. Draco smiled and closed his eyes again relaxing into the bench. All remaining tension melting from him. 

He could have sworn he felt Harry's hand ghost over his but when he opened his eyes Harry's arms were folded across his chest and he was looking off into the darkness "Well I suppose I should leave you to it" he said before standing up, still not looking directly at Draco.

Draco frowned and nodded slowly "Goodnight Harry" he said softly, trying to hide his disappointment. 

Harry smiled "Goodnight Draco" he said before casting a lumos and walking back towards their rooms. 

Draco smiled to himself as he watched the small light of Harry's wand disappear "Dear oh dear, Harry you're not making anything easy" he said softly, rubbing his forehead with his hands.  
\--------

(Harry's POV) 

Harry blushed furiously as he made his way away from the courtyard and back to his rooms. As soon as he got in he sat on the couch and took a deep breath "What the bloody hell was that Harry?" he asked himself, shards of hysteria evident in his voice. He rubbed his hands over his face knocking his glasses askew. He fixed them and put his Marauders Map on the coffee table. 

He had gotten back to his rooms earlier this evening and wanted to talk to Draco about something they learned in training but he wasn't in his rooms, Harry felt small amounts of panic bubbling up so he decided to use the Marauders Map to find him. 

When Harry saw Draco sat in the courtyard eyes closed and moonlight shining off all the harsh angles of his face Harry was awestruck at how beautiful Draco really was. Admittedly Harry had always thought Draco was an attractive man, as he matured he never lost the angelic glow he has when he smiles. He suspected that's why he got away with whatever he wanted, but he'd never seen Draco like this, completely at peace and serene. He felt incredibly ridiculous that he'd been worried. The war was over, he wasn't an auror anymore, not everything was a threat.

Harry cursed himself when Malfoy heard him close the map, damn man has hearing like a bat. And when he sat beside him he couldn't help but watch Draco. His white hair silver in the moonlight, and porcelain skin practically glowing. He hadn't felt anything like this in years. He almost held his hand. 

He almost held Draco Malfoy's hand.

He got up as quickly as possible and hid his face praying to Merlin that Draco couldn't see the blush on Harry's cheeks. An actual blush. Harry hadn't blushed in a decade.

He groaned and laid down on the couch "I can't do this. I can't" he scolded himself, closing his eyes. 

Later that night Harry woke up hearing a crashing sound from next door. He shot out of bed grabbing his wand, all his survival training shot into action as Harry raced out of his rooms and knocking on Draco's door.

"Draco!?" he asked worriedly, when there was no answer Harry stepped back "Alohomora" he cast and opened the door "Draco are you okay!?" he asked looking around and finding Draco looking at the half naked Harry standing in the doorway. 

Draco nodded, rubbing his eyes sleepily, a light blush spreading across his cheeks "I'm fine Harry" he said before getting over his moment of shock and plastering his regular scowl on his face "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing breaking into my rooms at this time of night only half dressed" he asked angrily. 

Harry looked around frowning at the dishevelled and just woken Draco "You... You didn't hear that?" he asked, confused.

Draco scowled more and shook his head "Hear what Potter?" he asked irritated. 

Harry flinched a little and shook his head "I thought I heard a crash. I thought you were in danger" he said softly rubbing his scar out of habit. 

Draco scoffed and shook his head "Well my hero, the saviour strikes again" he said sarcastically.

Harry clenched his fists, that struck a nerve "Fuck you Malfoy!" he yelled before slamming the door behind him and making his way back into his rooms. His chest ached, he couldn't even trust his ears anymore.

Harry hated being called a hero. He hated the title and everything that came with it. All he ever wanted was to be normal and happy and safe. Not the saviour. And the fact that he was only trying to help Draco and he went and acted like a total git actually hurt Harry. 

He didn't even know why he cared. 

He didn't care.

\-------

(Draco's POV)

Harry left his room and Draco leaned against the wall sighing. He hated the hurt look on Harry's face, and he hated even more that he was the cause. He didn't know Harry would be so offended by it and he definitely didn't mean to hurt him.

Draco shook his head, it was so strange. He was sleeping soundly and then there was banging on his door. He ignored it before hearing Harry unlock his door and call for him again. He climbed out of bed and found a panicked topless Harry standing in his front room. 

Draco had to admit in any other circumstance a half naked Harry Potter in his room would be very welcome but he looked genuinely worried. What struck Draco more was that Harry was actually worried about him. And Draco had to go and deflect the genuine emotion with a cold sarcastic remark.

Way to go Draco.


	5. Old Habits

(Harry's POV)

Harry was still really pissed at Draco. He only wanted to help and he had to go and act like a git as usual, on the brightside Harry's budding feelings for Draco were gone. 

The next morning Harry showered got dressed, making sure he looked really good without looking like he tried to hard, he wanted to make a "last night didn't effect me" impression, but mostly he wanted to piss Draco off. Harry's casual affection with Luna seemed to bother him before so Harry decided to use that to his advantage.

Harry grabbed his lesson plan on his way out and made his way to the Grand Hall for breakfast. He held back a smirk when he saw Draco already sat at the table watching Harry as he walked in. 

He sat next to Luna and smiled at her "Dear Luna, did you find your shoes?" he asked. Subtly watching Draco's reaction as he talked with Luna.

Luna smiled and nodded "Dear Harry, yes I did indeed. They were in the astronomy tower could you believe it?" she asked rhetorically.

Harry enjoyed seeing Draco's jaw clench at the use of their usual greeting. Harry nodded and put his hand on Luna's a few times and kissing her cheek every now and then as they talked and ate breakfast enjoying the small reactions from Draco. After Minerva dismissed us when we gave her our lesson plans Draco quickly and swiftly left the Grand Hall and Harry smirked triumphantly. Serves you right, prick. 

Luna giggled softly and shook her head "Oh Harry, don't you think messing with Mr Malfoy like this is a little childish?" she asked. 

Harry looked at her feigning innocence "I don't know what you're talking about" he said standing up and offering Luna his hand. 

Luna smiled and shook her head fondly as she took his hand and stood up "All is fair in love and war" she said before walking away. 

Harry frowned at the remark before making his way back to his rooms. He bit his lip and paused outside of his door. He was still fired up from being angry at Draco. He decided he was going go and get some frustration out by flying for a bit. He made his way in and changed out of his nice robes and into something more suitable for flying. As he left he asked a house elf to fetch his broom for when he got to the fields. 

Once he was in the clear open ground he paused and enjoyed the wind washing over him before taking a deep breath and kicking off the ground. 

\--------

(Draco's POV)

Draco growled in frustration and sat down by the lake, he was so angry, mostly at himself for being so upset about Harry being close with Luna. Sure Harry said she has a fiancé but why did he have to touch her so much and call her dear and look so damn good. Its like he's trying to make Draco jealous.

Draco then smirked, is Harry trying to make him jealous? Merlin that would be the dream. It wasn't the case however, Harry was straight and as far as Draco was concerned and was in no hurry to be interested in anyone. Draco sighed and looked up at the sky, he frowned seeing a flash of black zoom across his peripheral vision. He stood up and tried to get a better look at the flying object. 

Finally he caught a glimpse of Harry's face when he slowed and began to fly back down to the ground. Draco found himself walking over to where Harry had landed and was met by a glare.

Harry glared at him a little more intensely before beginning to walk away broom in hand. 

Draco signed "Harry" he said walking after him. Harry ignored him and walked faster. Draco frowned, jogging to catch up to him and grabbed Harry's wrist to stop him "Harry wait" he said. 

Harry turned to him and yanked his wrist away "What the bloody hell do you want you ungrateful insensitive git?" he spat angrily. 

Draco frowned "I'm sorry. I was a right arse last night" he said, rubbing the back of his neck "I get you we're just trying to help, I shouldn't have acted that way and I'm sorry" he emphasised. He wanted this apology to be sincere.

Harry softened and nodded, the air of razor sharp broken glass around him turned to his regular sad emotional wall. "It's fine, I should deal with my PTSD better" he said quietly.

Draco shook his head quickly and stepped forward a little more "No no absolutely not your reaction was completely understandable, I should have been more considerate" he said. He wouldn't let Harry take the blame for any of it. He'd only tried to protect him, Draco was the one in the wrong and he knew it.

A small, sad smile appeared on Harry's lips "This new, likeable Draco is weird. Go back to being an arse so I can go back to hating you and things would be less confusing" he said, shaking his head. 

Draco's heart jumped a little "Confusing?" He repeated, confusing how? What was confusing? Did Harry feel something?

Harry seemed to hesitate for a moment before shaking his head again "It's nothing, I'll see you later Malfoy" he said before hopping back onto his broom and kicking off of the ground, propelling himself into the air and disappearing into the distance.

Draco just stood there, it probably was nothing but... He couldn't stop himself from fantasising about what could be so confusing for Harry when it came to Draco not being an arse anymore. He almost wished he could see inside of Harry's mind, if only for a moment. What would it be like? Terrifying probably. 

If only.

\--------

(Harry's POV)

Harry landed in the astronomy tower and fell to his knees hyperventilating and feeling a panic attack coming on. He closed his eyes and held his chest tightly trying to take deep breaths and calm down. His lungs were burning and he couldn't catch his breath. What the hell?! What triggered this?!

Harry yelled out in anger as he held himself tightly, these attacks weren't uncommon but they usually had triggers. Something that caused them. This one seemed to come from nowhere.

After what felt like an hour, Harry was beginning to calm down when he heard footsteps approaching. Oh god. Someone was here, he wasn't recovered enough to fight, he was vulnerable to attacks. Harry couldn't take this. Just as he began to get up and run he locked eyes with Luna.

She looked at him with a soft knowing smile and the flood gates opened. He collapsed onto his knees and his eyes flooded with tears. Ever since he and Ginny broke up, Ron had barely spoken to him and as much as Hermione tried to be there for him she had a baby on the way, so Luna was the only one he was able to open up to. She had a way to see straight through him.

Luna crouched next to Harry and gently wrapped her arms around him "Lets go and read the cards" she said, knowing as much as Harry denied it, he felt better when he had his tarot read. Harry had introduced Luna to the practice when he learned of her new Divination position.

Just as he expected, Luna had a gift with the cards. She was always right.

Harry began to calm down and nodded, letting Luna help him up. They made their way out of the astronomy tower and back to Harry's rooms.

Once they were inside, Luna conjured her cards and a bottle of some home brewed liquor her father made from her rooms. Harry focused on controlling his breathing as Luna fetched some shot glasses. It was a little early for drinking but this particular liquor enhanced Harry's readings. 

Luna poured the swirling purple-ish liquid into the two glasses before holding one up. 

Harry took the other and clinked it with Luna's "Praeteritum" they said in unison before drinking the shots.

Luna shuffled the cards, hands moving almost too quickly to see, and placed the deck face down on the coffee table. She held out one of her hands and Harry instinctively intertwined their fingers. Luna took the top card from the deck and placed it face up on the table. 

The Hanged Man - Reversed

Typical, that card always made an appearance when Luna read about Harry's past. Harry made a face and Luna chuckled, giving his hand a squeeze "I don't need to tell you again how you need to stop repressing your problems and acting impulsively to distract yourself" she said.

Harry grumbled in disdain and poured the next round into their two glasses. He lifted his and Luna did the same, clinking them together. "Praesens" they said before gulping down the now bitter liquid. This isn't going to be fun. If it was bitter at this stage then the cards were going to tell Harry something he didn't want to hear. 

Luna pulled the next card from the deck and placed it on the table.

Death - Upright

Harry's breath caught in his throat and his grip on Luna's hand tightened. No no no no no.

"Shhh Harry we've been over this. It doesn't mean what you think it does. This card symbolises change" Luna said, soothing Harry with her feather soft words.

Harry nodded slowly and regained his breathing "What is he telling you?" He asked hesitantly.

Luna hummed, focusing on the card, her lips began to move wordlessly and the entire room got a little blurry. As if Harry and Luna were now in a separate state. Finally Luna looked back up, light dancing behind her eyes in amusement. "I knew it" she said, almost giggling as she did. 

Harry frowned at her "Okay now I'm kind of scared" he mumbled. 

Luna shook her head "You definitely aren't going to like it. Though he told me to draw the next card before I tell you" she said before pouring the last two shots. 

Harry fought his instinct to run and picked up his glass "Redintegro" they cheered together before swallowing the last glassful. Instantly the bitterness from the last dose was washed away by... Sweetness. So sweet it was almost painful, it made Harry's chest ache in a way he couldn't even explain. 

What the hell did that mean? The last shot had always tasted like water before, clarity. This was too different. Harry tensed as Luna pulled the last card from the deck and placed it face up on the table. And there it was, staring back at Harry.

The Lovers - Upright 

Harry visibly shook "No" he whispered. He didn't care who, or how, or why, or when, he didn't want this. This was dangerous, scary, terrible.

Luna squeezed his hand tightly, dragging Harry back into reality "Dear Harry its time. Trust me, trust the cards. Change is coming whether you like it or not. Just please don't shut yourself away when they try to love you" She said. 

Harry squeezed his eyes shut, every fibre of his being was telling him to shut down, run, get away. But Harry was tired of running, and Luna had never steered him wrong before. "Who?" he asked, voice tight. 

Luna placed her other hand on Harry's "I can't tell you that" She said solemnly.

Harry opened his eyes and was about to ask why when he remembered what she had said yesterday "I have to be the one to discover it" He quoted. 

Luna nodded and pressed a kiss on Harry's cheek "It will be wonderful, if you let it be" She said before letting go of his hand and putting everything away. 

"I will try, I trust you" Harry said begrudgingly. He didn't want to but he did trust Luna.


	6. Absinthe

(Draco's POV) 

Draco spent the rest of his evening after dinner sat in his front room thinking everything over, Harry wasn't at dinner and He had to check on him. He wasn't one for taking risks, especially after everything that has happened, luck proved to never really be on his side. But he couldn't stop himself, he wanted to be around Harry, be near him, be with him, know him, care about him... Draco shook his head "Shut the fuck up" He hissed at himself. He didn't want it. He couldn't. 

But he did.

He groaned and ran his hands through his hair, he had to know him. He had to at least be friends. Yeah that was good, friends. That had to be good enough, he'd get Harry to be his friend. Even though that didn't work out well the first time, they we're adults now and Harry didn't seem to hate Draco anymore. Draco decided that he was worth any risk. He had waited 15 years for even a splinter of a chance and he wasn't about to let Harry escape from him now. He had to know his options.

Admittedly that was easier said than done. Gryffindors, especially Harry, tended to be very stubborn. Not to mention from the looks of it, Harry had been shutting people and things out for a while now, there was an invisible wall around him that would be hard to knock down. Draco had to try and go about this in true Slytherin fashion, using his cunning wit to manoeuvre his way under Harry's skin. 

Satisfied with his decision he stood up, walked out of his front door and knocked on Harry's "Go away Draco!" Harry yelled. 

Draco sighed, Harry must have charmed the door with an identification spell "Harry please let me in" he said, meaning it literally and figuratively. 

He heard a hushed curse word and a few shuffling sounds before the door opened a crack, showing a rather heart breaking sight. Harry stood there robes hanging off of him haphazardly, glasses nowhere to be seen, eyes red and puffy as if he'd been crying and hair a complete mess. More than usual. 

Draco's face softened and he instinctively reached out to him. Harry flinched away from his hand, fear colouring his face "Don't touch me" he spat. 

Draco retracted his hand ignoring the painful sting in his chest "I'm sorry, instinct. Are you alright?" he asked softly. 

Harry relaxed slightly and nodded "I'm fine, if that is all I must go over some notes" he said going to shut the door. 

Draco bit his lip, he didn't feel right leaving Harry alone in this state. "Wait, I actually... I need some help with a part of the N.E.W.Ts that I'm having trouble understanding. Would you mind helping me?" he asked, he didn't really need help with any of it but he did need to be here for Harry right now. Even if he didn't know it.

Harry hesitated before nodding and stepping aside so Draco could enter the front room. The fire was lit, there was an empty bottle of some kind of liquor on the coffee table and a glass filled with half melted ice. 

"I hope you don't mind, I had a drink or two a moment ago" Harry said, picking up the empty bottle.

"Huh, you don't seem-" Draco started.

"I'm not, my tolerance to things is regretfully high" He interrupted.

Draco thought for a moment "Perhaps we can study tomorrow" He suggested.

Harry shook his head and waved his hand dismissively "No need, I'm of perfectly sound mind" He said, sounding completely serious. 

They both broke out in laughter "Even if I did believe that, that's not what I meant. I just meant well... You look really rough Harry" He said, surprisingly candidly.

Harry smirked, Merlin that smile did things to him, and raised an eyebrow at Draco "Charming as always, I told you I'm fine" he lied, putting the empty bottle in the kitchen. 

Draco shook his head, he wasn't. He was raw and unpredictable. Draco sighed and conjured a bottle from his room. If Harry needed to drink right now he wasn't going to do it alone and if Draco was to join him then they were going to do it in style. He transfigured one of Harry's giant books into the proper diluting apparatus.

Harry walked back into the room and raised his eyebrows in surprise "We'll need some glasses and sugar cubes" Draco simply stated, sitting down on the loveseat and setting everything up.

Harry just nodded, still looking confused and retrieved the requested items from the kitchen. "I thought you needed help with the N.E.W.T.s not a guinea pig for new potion" Harry grumbled warily as he set the glasses and bowl of sugar cubes down on the table in front of Draco.

Draco chuckled and shook his head "This is absinthe, it'll help, trust me" He said, setting up two glasses. He watched the water begin dripping over the sugar cubes and sat back.

Harry hesitated before sitting down next to Draco "That's a lot to ask y'know" he said, pulling his glasses out of his pocket and putting them on. His eyes looked a little brighter now. 

Draco raised an eyebrow at the man "What is?" He asked.

Harry let a sad smile spread across his face as he stared intently at the drinks in front of him "To trust you" he said, Draco fought not to flinch.

That hurt, like a knife to the gut. Was he really that terrible? Was he so untrustworthy? "Because I'm a death eater?" Draco asked, voice tight and devoid of emotion.

Harry looked over, a little surprised and smiled a soft, almost apologetic smile "No Draco, you were never a death eater. Nor were you a bad person really. It's a lot to ask because you're a human. Humans are unpredictable and unstable. Trust isn't a natural instinct for a reason" he explained.

Draco's heart ached a little, Harry didn't think he was ever a bad person. Draco wasn't so sure but it did make him happy to hear. It was sad that Harry felt as if people couldn't be trusted, though Draco didn't blame him. 

Draco smiled a little and nodded "I guess you're right, this drink however is more of a gift than anything else. I don't often share things so dear to me" he said turning the running water off and stirring the now dissolved sugar into the diluted drinks. Once he was satisfied he handed one of the glasses to Harry "You're going to want to sip this Potty" he said affectionately. Harry tentatively took the glass but scoffed and took a big swig. Draco cringed "First of all that was terribly uncouth, secondly you're going to regret that" he said taking a small sip from his own glass. It was as delightful as he'd remembered.

Harry scoffed again and looked at the glass in his hand "You're kidding right? What is it even supposed to do? Other than taste like liquorice candy" He asked before looking up, his head lolled a bit and his pupils dilated. "Oh.." he trailed off.

Draco couldn't help but burst into laughter "I did warn you" he said, taking another sip from his glass. 

Harry's cheeks flushed and he bit his lip, looking back at the glass in his hand "Yes perhaps you were right" he said, placing the glass down on the table. Probably a wise move.

He looked back up at Draco and the blonde almost choked. With Harry sat there, hair all over the place, cheeks flushed and lips irresistibly pink and moist. Draco cleared his throat and looked away, taking another sip of his drink.

It was dangerous to think like that, he could only ever be Harry's friend. And that's only if Harry lets him in. 

He felt Harry shift next to him and couldn't help but look over, Harry's eyes met his instantly, they were enchanting. So green you could swear his irises were alive. Draco swallowed hard, risky.

Harry smiled a little "Your eyes are pretty" he said quietly. 

Draco felt his face heat up, no doubt he was blushing, and shook his head "You're drunk" he said, pushing away the fluttering in his chest. 

Harry shrugged "Perhaps a little, but it's true and you're right. This definitely helps" he said twisting so he was facing Draco. Harry rested his head on the back of the sofa and smiled absently. 

Draco groaned internally, why did he have to be so cute? So wonderful? So perfect? Draco shook the thoughts from his mind and nodded "Yes well I'm glad, it looked like it's been a rough day" he said. He needed more of his drink to deal with all these thoughts and emotions but he also didn't trust what he might say without any inhibitions. 

Harry hummed in agreement "That it has, thank you" he said genuinely.

Draco smiled at him "I hope we can become friends someday" he admitted.

Harry smiled back, still studying the blond's features "I'm sure we can, you're not nearly as insufferable as I thought you were" he said before chuckling "you know, in another life we could have been best friends from the start" he admitted. 

Draco nodded, it had been a possibility many years ago. 

Harry smirked "Hell in another world we could have even been lovers" he said bluntly. 

Draco choked then, on air apparently, he sputtered and struggled for words "Y-you're crazy" he stuttered, taking an uncharacteristically large swig of his absinthe, draining the rest of his glass. 

Harry laughed a little "All I'm saying is it could have been a possibility, you're a very handsome man Draco and if you hadn't been a total git in school I might have been interested" he said, his level of candour shook Draco to his core.

Was any of this real? Was he actually saying this? Was he only saying this because he's intoxicated? He couldn't possibly mean it. How much had he drank before if he was this drunk now? He said his tolerance was high.

Draco put his now empty glass on the table and crossed his arms "You're full of it, it's not polite to joke about such things" he said. Merlin did he want it to be real, for there to be even a chance, even if it was in a whole other hypothetical world.

Harry lifted his head slowly and frowned at the Slytherin "What makes you think I'm joking?" He asked. 

Draco shook his head "Because you have to be, Harry Potter - The pride of Gryffindor - could never be interested in Draco Malfoy, not even in a parallel universe" he said, as if stating a fact. 

Harry hummed and leaned towards Draco slightly "So you mean to say you've never thought about it? Never thought about the possibility?" He asked, voice low and cautious.

Draco's heart raced, what in the world was happening right now? Control Malfoy, never reveal your cards. Draco shrugged trying to look as if he didn't care "Maybe in passing, like if one were to contemplate the existence of mythical creatures" he said, voice staying surprisingly even.

Harry didn't seem to agree with that answer and leaned a little closer, all of Draco's nerves were on fire. He'd do anything to touch the man in front of him, he was painfully close and yet far too far away. 

"So all that unspoken tension between us as teens, never kept you up at night? Wondering why we affected each other so much?" He continued to press the subject. 

Draco swallowed and bit his lip, keep control Draco. "Not even once" he lied. You're a Slytherin for Merlin's sake, get your act together. Draco thought to himself.

Harry leaned closer once more, he was now only a few inches from Draco's face "You see, I'm having a little trouble believing that" he almost whispered. His voice was low and a little gravely. It was... exhilarating to hear. 

Draco's eyes drifted to Harry's lips "H-how much did you have to drink earlier?" Draco stuttered, trying to find something - anything - else to think about. To distract himself from his hunger to kiss the man before him. 

Harry shook his head "Don't try and change the subject, Draco" he almost purred. Draco shuddered, this side of Harry was far more intoxicating than the absinthe. Dangerously addictive too.

Draco held in a whine, self control wasn't always his strength when it came to something he wanted and boy did he want Harry. Focus, control. He took a deep breath and leaned back a little, trying to put some space between him and the Gryffindor.

"You're intoxicated and not in control of what you're saying. I doubt you'll even remember this in the morning" he said. 

Harry whined then, Merlin the sound was delicious "Shut up and kiss me Malfoy" he said before finally closing the space between them and pressing his lips against Draco's. 

Draco froze for a second before kissing him back, placing one of his hands on Harry's cheek. This was wrong, Harry didn't know what he was doing, he's tired, he's been drinking. But Draco was only human, he wanted this more than he could express. Harry smiled against Draco's lips and moved to sit in his lap. 

Draco let out a sound from deep in his throat and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist. Harry pulled away from the kiss just a few millimetres to gasp in some air. 

Draco breathed raggedly "You don't know what you're doing Harry" he muttered. 

Harry shook his head and wrapped his arms around Draco's neck "Just give me this one evening, just one night where I don't have to be Harry Potter - the boy who lived. I just want to be Harry. Just one night" he almost begged. 

Draco bit his lip, he didn't have the strength to deny him. He nodded and pulled Harry in for another kiss, this one was softer. Kind and slow. If Harry needed a break then he was going to be shown how wonderful it could be. If only he was really here, if only Draco was sure he really wanted this. 

Harry relaxed into the Slytherin and kissed him back. Nothing else happened that night, just kind kisses and two men holding each other together. It was nice, terrifying and dangerous but nice.


	7. Crushing Fear

(Harry's POV)

Harry sat in the shower, hot water pelting down on him like searing knives. What the hell had he done? Did that really happen last night? Harry felt disgusted, he had practically forced himself on Draco. It started out as a joke, it really had, it was fun to watch Draco squirm. However nothing he said was anything he hadn't thought about before, and the more Harry looked into his piercing eyes... The way Draco looked back at him... he shuddered and hugged his knees tighter to his chest. 

Harry had wanted him. Harry really wanted Draco. Dangerous. Scary. Terrible. Wonderful. Addictive. Harry sobbed, he still wanted him. Draco made him feel so safe, loved, normal. Draco was also drunk. If Harry was extremely lucky, Draco wouldn't remember what had happened, or at least would be so disgusted by it that he'd ignore it or push Harry away.

Everything would be so much easier if they still hated each other. Harry woke up a little while ago, he was laying atop the covers on his bed. He'd almost been sure he'd dreamt everything from last night but it was too real, and there were still glasses and sugar cubes on the table. Draco was no where to be seen. 

Harry allowed himself a few more minutes of his breakdown before he re-enforced his emotional walls, vigorously scrubbed himself clean - trying to be rid of the disgustingly wonderful memory of Draco's hands on him - and got himself presentable for breakfast. 

Finally when he looked as if nothing at all happened yesterday, Harry had decided on his game plan. He's going to act as if nothing did happen yesterday. If Draco didn't bring it up that meant either he'd been too drunk to remember or he didn't want to acknowledge it, both worked for Harry.

If Draco did bring it up, Harry would simply say he was very very drunk and didn't know what he was doing. Even though he wasn't and he did. He knew exactly what he was doing. The lie would be more believable if Harry returned to being hostile around Draco so that's what he planned on doing, though that might be easier said than done. Harry really didn't want to hurt Draco.

Harry took a deep breath and left his rooms, the corridor was empty, good. The walk through the castle was blissfully quiet, Harry was beginning to feel better until he saw a familiar blonde standing outside the doors to the great hall. 

Merlin he looked good, his hair was just a tad messier than normal, he wore a light robe open to show a deep green button up shirt, black waistcoat and black suit trousers. Harry shook his head and regained his composure just before the blonde looked over at him.

Harry's face stayed completely neutral as he nodded a greeting and walked into the hall. Draco looked as if he was going to say something but he just looked down and silently followed Harry into the hall. 

All throughout breakfast Harry continued to talk to Neville and Hannah as usual, no one besides Luna would be able to detect a thing off about him. She didn't say anything thankfully. He snuck a glance over at Draco as everyone was discussing the upcoming term, Harry's stomach twisted at the sight of the usually glowing Slytherin. Draco looked dull, everything that made him a Malfoy had drained out of him. He was slouching and pushing his food around on his plate, he hadn't seemed to eat a thing. Maybe he was so disgusted with what Harry had done that it made him lose his apatite, he could also be hungover. Though Draco didn't seem to drink that much last night... maybe he had a low tolerance to the strange green liquor?

Harry tore his eyes away and pushed down the worry bubbling up in his chest, leave it be Harry. Once everyone had finished eating, Minerva dismissed us to go get acquainted with our classrooms, Draco dragged his feat as he left the hall, it was like he was on auto-pilot. Harry buried the urge to go after him and walked in silence to his classroom. The quiet of the castle mocked him now, left him with nothing but his conflicting emotions and thoughts. None too soon, Harry reached the doors to his classroom, he took a breath and prepared himself. 

Harry pushed open the door and walked into the room, much to his expectation, his mind was bombarded with memories and reminders of three people he'd lost.

Remus Lupin ~ Severus Snape ~ Alastor Moody 

He fell into one of the chairs beside him and held his aching head in his hands. 

They all died because of me. If I had been better, if I tried harder, if I trained more, they could still be alive. If I wasn't such a stupid boy and I'd listened to what people told me. If I had just died when I was supposed to.

"Stop it" a male voice echoed through the room, or through Harry's head. Perhaps both. 

Harry looked up in shock and his eyes landed on a portrait he hadn't noticed before. The man in the painting looked down at the Gryffindor in disgust and he suddenly felt like a child again.

"Snape?" Harry asked, he didn't know he had his portrait painted - let alone hung in the defence against the dark arts classroom.

The man sneered "I will not have you wallowing in self-pity. It changes the atmosphere in the room and I don't like change" Snape said.

Harry grinned like an idiot, he never thought he'd be so glad to see the man before him but he was. "Why are you in here? Why not in Minerva's office with the other portraits? Or even in the potions classroom with Draco?" He asked.

Snape raised an eyebrow at Harry, he'd never heard the Gryffindor say Draco's first name before. He ignored it for now and examined his fingernails like they were far more fascinating than this conversation "I had them move me when I heard you were going to be the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. Someone has to make sure you don't ruin the next generation of witches and wizards" he said simply.

Harry should have been angry, or offended but he just started laughing. Snape looked at him as if he'd lost his mind "I can't believe I'm about to say this but I actually missed you" Harry finally said.

Snape's mouth twitched, the corners turning up in a small smile. He quickly corrected himself and shrugged "I suppose that's good, I will be observing all your lessons from now on" he said.

Surprisingly Harry felt relieved, he didn't have to do this alone. He wouldn't be alone with his thoughts and memories in this room. "I suppose I should grab the copy of my lesson plan so we can go over it together" he said.

Snape looked pleased "Finally you've learned some manners, there may be hope for you yet Potter" he said, uncharacteristically warm. Harry smiled at him and Snape once again caught himself and rolled his eyes "Go on then! Scamper off and get the plan I want to make sure you're not teaching them dribble" he snapped.

Harry chuckled and shook his head "Right away professor" he said out of habit, even though it hadn't been a habit in many years.

********

By the time dinner came around Harry felt ten tonnes lighter, he wasn't in this alone and he was far more prepared than he had been yesterday. Being a professor was much less intimidating when he had a mentor. If you had told him 6 years ago that he would be thinking of Severus Snape as a mentor he would have thought you were insane. 

Harry walked towards the grand hall much more relaxed than he was this morning, why was he so worked up this morning anyway?

Bam!

Harry's arms quickly and instinctively shot out and wrapped around the body he had collided with. He grabbed them just before they fell to the ground.

"Merlin I'm so sor-" Harry's words caught in his throat when his eyes locked with the piercing blue ones he'd become addicted to.

Right.

He was so worked up because he kissed Draco last night and he wanted more.

Draco froze in Harry's arms, it almost looked as if there was fear in his eyes "Can you let go of me?" He asked, voice merely a whisper, it didn't sound like he meant it though. No, Harry was imagining that, wishful thinking.

Harry's heart dropped when the full reality of the situation fell on him. He jumped away from Draco as if his touch burned him "Sorry" he mumbled. He wanted to keep holding him, he wanted Draco to hold him too. He wanted Draco to kiss him and love him and make everything better.

SHUT UP HARRY

He mentally slapped himself and looked at his hands "I gotta go" he muttered before quickly walking away, towards the fields. He needed air. 

(Draco's POV) 

Draco stood there frozen, he wanted to go after him but was that really a good idea? He sighed and rubbed his forehead. He knew Harry was going to be freaked out, but it hurt. Draco could swear he saw a hopeful yearning in Harry's eyes but that couldn't be real. It was impossible. But Merlin did Draco want it to be real. 

He took a deep, painful breath and continued walking towards his rooms. Draco opened his front door and walked in. He didn't want to feel like this anymore, all this hope and pain and longing. Harry would never feel the same way, no matter what it might look like, Draco knew it just wouldn't happen.

He sighed and grabbed the bottle of fire whiskey from the other night, this should numb it for the rest of the night. Draco was only really a social drinker and tended to ignore or bury his problems rather than anything else but... he couldn't do that this time. Within an hour he'd drained the rest of the bottle and was sat at his desk. He was writing - somewhat ineligibly - in his journal about the whole situation, as he had been doing since his feelings blossomed all those years ago, when there was a knock on his door. 

He groaned at the sheer act of having to stand up and stumbled over to the front door. He swung it open, somehow still managing to be graceful "Can I help you?" He asked irritated before he realised who was standing in front of him. "Harry" he breathed, the name was both bitter and sweet on his tongue.

The Gryffindor's face coloured in concern, was he worried? No Draco was just drunk "I didn't see you at dinner, everyone said you hadn't sent for any food either" he trailed off, he was holding something.

Draco focused from Harry's face to what was in his hands, it was a tray of food - Draco's favourite in fact. How did he know? Draco's stomach twisted as did his heart, he didn't want to fall in love with this man. This is why he started drinking in the first place. Draco shook his head and stepped away from the door, only slightly swaying.

"I'm really not hungry" he said. 

Leave. Leave before my resolve breaks. 

Harry sighed "I'm afraid I'm not going to leave before you eat something. Drinking on an empty stomach isn't a good decision" he said, stepping into the front room and walking over towards Draco's desk. 

Draco laughed dryly "I'm not exactly famous for making good decisions Potter" he said bitterly, he debated asking Harry to leave anyway but he knew it wouldn't make a difference. Draco closed his front door but stood stubbornly where he was, making no move towards his desk, Harry or the food.

Harry was looking at something on the desk, what was he looking at? Draco waited but Harry still didn't turn. Suddenly he remembered.

Fuck.

Draco rushed over and snatched his journal from his desk, throwing it in the general direction of his bedroom "Excuse you, that's private" he hissed.

Was Harry blushing? He swallowed and placed the tray down on the blondes desk. "M-My apologies, I didn't realise what it was. I didn't read anything" he said, it didn't sound fully honest but he was probably just embarrassed to have caught Draco with a diary. 

Draco sighed and sat down in his chair "Good" he mumbled, putting his head in his hands.

After a few minutes Harry transfigured something into a chair and sat in front of Draco. Not that he was paying attention.

"You need to eat" Harry said softly.

Draco looked up at him and instantly wished he didn't, Merlin those eyes. Harry was looking at him as if looking at someone you cared about, suffering. Of course that was all in Draco's head.

"Please tell your eyes to stop lying to me" he said quietly, his heart hurt.

Harry frowned "What?" He asked, clearly confused.

Draco rolled his eyes and sat back "Your stupid, beautiful, intense eyes Potter, I can't stand how they lie to me" he stated.

Harry shook his head "How do you know they're lies?" He asked.

Draco felt anger twinge in his stomach "Because they are! All empty promises and hollow longing, it's not fair!" He said, voice raising slightly.

Harry didn't move, didn't even blink, he just looked Draco directly in his eyes. Draco felt the sting of tears threatening to form "Stop" he whispered, begging.

His chest hurt, this was just cruel. This was torture, knowing that even if Draco saw the want in Harry's eyes, he was just imagining it. Wishful thinking. 

Harry shook his head and leaned forward "What are they saying to you?" He asked.

Draco's eyes burned as tears filled them "Promises of a better life, a life I've always wanted but could never have, it's cruel and painful" he said, so quietly that Harry probably wouldn't have heard him if he weren't so close. 

Draco had only ever been this vulnerable in front of his mother and Blaze, to be like this in front of Harry? It was unbearable.

"Draco Malfoy you are strong, and good and determined. You can have whatever life you want. Fight for it, fight for what you deserve" Harry said, voice calm and gentle and genuine.

That did it, tears fell from Draco's eyes as he leaned forward - closing the gap between them - and pressed his lips against Harry's.

Surprisingly the Gryffindor reacted immediately, putting his hand on Draco's cheek and kissing him back. It felt amazing, soft and slow and sweet. Exactly what Draco always wanted but could never have.

Tears streamed down his face as he kissed the man before him, bittersweet was the only word he could use to describe the scene. Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's neck, that was encouraging. Harry wasn't drunk, Harry was sober, he actually wanted this.

Was this real?

Draco pulled away only slightly, eyes still closed "What if the life I want isn't mine to fight for?" He asked hesitantly, slowly opening his eyes.

Harry hummed "Fight harder" he said simply before pulling away and grabbing the fork from the tray "Now, you have to eat" he said sternly.

Everything felt so surreal, Draco just nodded weakly. He was expecting to take the fork from Harry but before he could lift a finger the Gryffindor loaded the fork with food and lifted it towards Draco's mouth "Open" he said simply, like this was the most natural thing in the world. 

Draco blushed and obeyed. When Harry was done feeding Draco they just sat there for a moment, in tense silence.

Draco was the first to break it. "What are we doing?" He asked, his lack of inhibitions allowing him to seek the answers he wanted. 

Harry hesitated "I'm pretty sure we're sat in your front room Draco" he said, clearly knowing that's not what the Slytherin meant. 

Draco shook his head "I'm serious Harry, what is this?" He asked, using his hand to gesture to the two of them. 

Harry sighed and slumped in his chair "I don't know" he admitted, it wasn't exactly the answer Draco wanted but at least it was an answer. 

He leaned forward a little "If I ask you something will you answer honestly" he asked. 

Harry thought before nodding "As long as you extend me the same courtesy" he said. 

Draco nodded in agreement "Did you actually want to kiss me last night or were you just drunk?" He asked, the main question that had been burning a hole through his mind. 

Harry flinched ever so slightly "Yes" he admitted, voice tight "I did actually want to kiss you. Did you? Both then and a few minutes ago" he returned. 

Draco nodded without hesitation "Both times, yes" he confirmed. Harry visibly relaxed a little "So everything you said last night was real?" he asked.

Harry closed his eyes and nodded stiffly "Yes" he said quietly. 

Draco felt his heart beat a mile a minute, nothing else mattered in that moment. This was real. He leaned forward again and kissed Harry softly. He felt the man relax again and kiss him back. 

This was real!

After a few minutes Harry pulled away and rested his forehead against Draco's "I have to go. I need to think" he said quietly.

Draco nodded, he didn't really want him to go but he understood. 

And just like that Harry left and Draco was alone, the events of the last 24hrs weighed on him like a house, he was exhausted in every sense of the word. He stripped his clothes off and hopped into some pyjamas before crawling into bed.

"If I have to fight, then fight I shall" he said to himself, now that he was given a sliver of a chance he was going to fight with everything he had to win Harry's heart.


	8. Confessions

(Harry's POV) 

Harry took a deep breath and paced back and forth waiting for his friend to open her door. After what felt like a lifetime with nothing but his thoughts the door finally opened. 

"Come in, come in. Dear Harry you're a little earlier than I expected" Luna said as she ushered the man into her front room.

Harry sighed and walked straight over to the large couch, flopping face down into the cushions "What am I going to do?" He mumbled into the upholstery. 

Luna hummed and Harry heard her sit down somewhere near by "The cards and I are in agreement on what you should do, but what do you want to do Harry?" She asked.

Harry groaned loudly, Go back to his rooms and stay there in his arms forever he admitted in his mind. "It's dangerous" he said, slowly turning his head so he could see the blonde woman brewing tea beside him. 

He instantly smelled Moonwort and Lunaria Annua, he scowled at his friend "Why not just give me a straight up truth potion?" He asked rhetorically.

She smiled at him "This tastes better, besides there's no way Draco would let me take that from his store cupboard without reason" she explained.

Harry grumbled in disdain but slowly sat up so he could drink the tea anyway. Luna added a sugar cube to the cup before handing it over to the still scowling Gryffindor. 

"Drink up and tell me everything that happened" she said gently.

Harry sighed again and did as he was told, he blew on the liquid to cool it down before draining the cup of its contents. Harry smiled a little, Luna had added camomile. She knew it was Harry's favourite and helped calm him. 

"Everything, everything? Or just what happened today?" Harry asked, relaxing back into the couch.

Luna crossed her legs in her chair and sipped at her own cup of tea "Everything, everything" she answered without hesitation.

Harry rolled his eyes, of course, why did he even bother asking. "I know, you know it's Draco" he started, Luna simply nodded "Well first night after dinner, he came to my rooms and offered to share a drink or two" Luna's face scrunched up "If that upsets you, you're not gonna like the next parts of the story" Harry said with an eyebrow raised. 

Luna sighed and nodded "I'm sorry I just worry" she said quietly. 

Harry nodded too "I know, I'm trying to stay in control" he said. Luna smiled a small supportive smile and gestured for him to continue "We just talked and had a few drinks most of the night and it was really quite pleasant. I was pleased that not only could I now be civil with him but it looked like we could even be friends. I was shocked to say the least at how much I genuinely enjoyed his company" Harry explained.

"The next day during breakfast I noticed he reacted strangely when we would call each other dear or when you'd kiss my cheek, I thought it was just because he wasn't used to affection. Then on my way back to my rooms after I helped search for your shoes I almost crashed into him and he..." Harry smiled looking down at his empty cup "He was so upset, he was jealous. I've never had someone act like that about me, it felt kinda nice" he admitted honestly. The tea had taken affect.

Luna smiled fondly at him "How was his reaction when you told him I was spoken for?" She asked curiously.

Harry chuckled "Cute" he said instantly before blushing and shaking his head "I mean, all the anger and jealousy seemed to just deflate from him like a balloon. He was obviously embarrassed so I didn't comment on his reaction" he corrected. "That night after our training session I was still a little confused about the O.W.L.s so I went to ask Draco for help but he wasn't in his room. Which now that I think about it wasn't strange in the slightest but my paranoia got the better of me so I used the Maruders Map to find him. He was in the courtyard, sat on the stone bench" Harry sighed happily as he remembered the sight "He looked so beautiful in the moonlight" he confessed, closing his eyes.

"Of course he's always been devastatingly gorgeous, but in that moment he was glowing. He looked like an angel" he said, Harry didn't really care about being embarrassed anymore. It felt good to finally tell the truth about how he felt. To Luna and to himself. "If I'm being honest, I've always been attracted to him. Of course I never acted on it before as he was an insufferable git but now? He's different. Or maybe he's not, maybe this is the Draco Malfoy I could never see but was always there beneath the prejudice and fear" he theorised.

Luna hummed "I'd like to think so" she said quietly.

Harry nodded "Well I ended up joining him on the bench and I could barely fight my urge to hold his hand, I craved his touch. Luckily I caught myself before I did anything stupid and swiftly left but it was too close. I had no idea what I was doing or feeling and it freaked me out" He explained. His chest tightened a little when he remembered what else happened that night. "In the middle of the night I was woken up by a loud crash coming from Draco's room so my instincts kicked in and I rushed over - wand in hand - when I finally got into his rooms he just stood there looking at me like I was crazy" Harry swallowed hard "Turns out the crash was all in my head, so I could no longer trust my ears as well as my eyes and mind" he said quietly. 

He felt Luna's hand on his then "It's not your fault you have scars Harry, you've made such amazing progress with your PTSD and you are doing so well" she said softly, giving his hand a supportive squeeze. 

Harry opened his eyes and smiled fondly at his friend "Thank you" He said before continuing "Draco, reasonably, was quite irritated at the sudden intrusion and rude awakening so he reacted as snide and harshly as he used to... Using the two words that cut deeper than any other" he said tightly. Saviour and hero. He hated those words. Harry took a deep breath and shook his head "I was still angry the next day so after breakfast I went out to the fields to do some flying. When I was finally beginning to feel a little less wound up I flew back to the ground only to find Draco walking towards me. Even after my best 'you're dead to me glare' he still grabbed my arm until I stopped to listen to him..." Harry smiled to himself, pulling his knees up to his chest. It was a comfort position he rarely let anyone see but Luna was his best friend and had seen him at much worse. 

"He apologised to me. Not just a half arsed one either, he made it very clear that he was sorry and made sure I didn't take any of the blame" Harry said resting his head on his knees "That's what happened just before you found me in the tower and did my reading" he said looking back up at his friend.

He bit his lip and hesitated, fighting against the herbs encouraging him to speak freely "You're really not going to like the next part of the story but I promise I wasn't intending on going as far as I did" he said defensively. 

Luna nodded "The reading was a little too much for you so you drank to deal with the fear of having to let someone else love you" she assumed. 

Harry flinched a little and nodded "Yes, but I promise you I was only intending on having the one bottle just to take the edge off. I wasn't going to get drunk... at least that's what I planned" he explained quickly.

Luna grabbed Harry's empty tea cup and refilled it, adding another sugar cube. At the sight of the sweet shape Harry's mind instinctively went back to the feeling of Draco's arms around him, his lips on his. Merlin he wanted it. He shook his head and gathered his thoughts once more, accepting the cup and draining it easily. Luna did the same and urged Harry to continue.

Harry took a deep breath and placed his cup back down on the table before wrapping his arms around his knees "After I'd done all of my crying I heard a knock on the door, the identification charm told me it was Draco, I probably looked in a right state so I told him to go away but... He asked me to let him in, I don't know what it was about the way he said it but I just couldn't deny him..."

~~~~~~

Harry's heart began to pound as he saw the blonde Slytherin he couldn't stop thinking about standing in front of him. Draco looked very concerned, he reached out to Harry and Harry flinched away. He was terrified by how much he actually wanted Draco to touch and comfort him. "Don't touch me!" He spat, panicked.

Harry's heart ached when he saw the hurt pass through the blondes eyes. Draco retracted his hand and smiled apologetically "I'm sorry, instinct. Are you alright?" He asked.

Harry relaxed a little and nodded "I'm fine, if that's all I must go over some notes" he said, beginning to close the door and trying to get away from his confusing feelings.

Draco bit his lip, Merlin that didn't help make things less confusing. "Wait, I actually... I need some help with a part of the N.E.W.Ts that I'm having trouble understanding. Would you mind helping me?" he asked, Harry knew he should say no but... He couldn't, he did want to spend time with Draco.

Harry hesitated before nodding and stepping aside so Draco could enter the front room. He walked over to where he was sat and finished the last of the scotch in his glass. "I hope you don't mind, I had a drink or two a moment ago" he said, picking up the empty bottle.

"Huh, you don't seem-" Draco started. Drunk? If only.

"I'm not, my tolerance to things is regretfully high" He interrupted.

Draco thought for a moment "Perhaps we can study tomorrow" He suggested.

Harry shook his head and waved his hand dismissively "No need, I'm of perfectly sound mind" He said seriously before actually hearing himself. He and Draco both started laughing.

Was anyone really of sound mind any more?

"Even if I did believe that, that's not what I meant. I just meant well... You look really rough Harry" Draco said, surprising both of them.

Harry smirked and raised an eyebrow at Draco "Charming as always, I told you I'm fine" he lied, taking the empty bottle into the kitchen. He took a deep breath and leaned against his counter top for a moment, Merlin what am I doing? He asked himself.

Harry walked back into the room and raised his eyebrows in surprise "We'll need some glasses and sugar cubes" Draco simply stated, sitting down on the loveseat and fiddling with some intricate looking contraption. Where in the world did that come from?

Harry just nodded, still confused and retrieved the requested items from the kitchen. "I thought you needed help with the N.E.W.T.s not a guinea pig for new potion" He grumbled warily as he set the glasses and bowl of sugar cubes down on the table in front of Draco.

Draco chuckled and shook his head "This is absinthe, it'll help, trust me" He said, pouring some bright green liquid into the two glasses. He then placed each of them under a spout on the silver contraption, put a spoon looking thing atop the glasses and placed a sugar cube atop that. Finally he turned the spout and watched the water begin dripping over the sugar cubes.

Harry hesitated before sitting down next to Draco "That's a lot to ask y'know" he said, pulling his glasses out of his pocket and putting them on. He'd taken them off while he'd been crying but he needed them now.

Draco raised an eyebrow at the man "What is?" He asked.

Harry let a sad smile spread across his face as he stared intently at the drinks in front of him, his chest tightened "To trust you" he clarified.

Draco stiffened beside him "Because I'm a death eater?" He asked, voice tight.

Harry looked over, his heart ached when he realised what he'd said. He smiled apologetically and instinctively leaned a little closer to the man he'd just hurt "No Draco, you were never a death eater. Nor were you a bad person really. It's a lot to ask because you're a human. Humans are unpredictable and unstable. Trust isn't a natural instinct for a reason" he explained.

Draco smiled a little and nodded "I guess you're right, this drink however is more of a gift than anything else. I don't often share things so dear to me" he said turning the running water off and stirring the drinks before handing one of the glasses to Harry "You're going to want to sip this Potty" he said, you could feel the affection behind the nickname. Harry tentatively took the glass, maybe this wasn't the best idea but he didn't really want to think about it so he scoffed and took a big swig. Draco cringed at him "First of all that was terribly uncouth, secondly you're going to regret that" he said taking a small sip from his own glass.

Harry scoffed again and looked at the glass in his hand, sure it was delicious but it just tasted like a flat fizzy drink "You're kidding right? What is it even supposed to do? Other than taste like liquorice candy" He asked before looking up, his head lolled a bit and his pupils dilated. Oh this was alcohol. "Oh.." he trailed off.

Draco shook with laughter "I did warn you" he said, taking another sip from his glass. 

Harry's cheeks flushed and he bit his lip, looking back at the glass in his hand. That was stupid and impulsive, Harry definitely did not need to be drunk in front of Draco "Yes perhaps you were right" he said, placing the glass down on the table. He wasn't very intoxicated so now was probably a good stopping point.

He looked back up at Draco and smiled, he really was very attractive. And kind, much more thoughtful than Harry had even believed he could be. Draco cleared his throat and looked away, taking another sip of his drink, Harry took a breath and tried to control his thoughts.

It was dangerous to think like that, with no inhibitions who knew what Harry would blurt out. He moved a little closer, somewhat subconsciously, he wanted Draco's undivided attention. When the blonde looked back over he couldn't help but smile "Your eyes are pretty" he said quietly. They were like tiny silver halos in his eyes, he was far more angelic than a human should be allowed to be.

Draco blushed, that made Harry's heart race, and shook his head "You're drunk" he said. 

Harry shrugged "Perhaps a little, but it's true and you're right. This definitely helps" he said twisting in his seat so he was facing Draco. He rested his head on the back of the sofa and smiled absently. This was very nice. Everything that had been bothering Harry seemed to be miles away, how did Draco do that? How did he just make everything better?

Draco seemed to struggle before nodding "Yes well I'm glad, it looked like it's been a rough day" he said.

Harry hummed in agreement "That it has, thank you" he said genuinely. Draco really was quite incredible when you thought about it.

Draco smiled at him "I hope we can become friends someday" he admitted.

Harry smiled back, still studying the blonde's features "I'm sure we can, you're not nearly as insufferable as I thought you were" he said before chuckling "you know, in another life we could have been best friends from the start" he admitted, what would his life have been like if he'd chosen that path instead?

Draco nodded, Harry smirked then, this could be his chance to mess with the Slytherin. Oh how he loved to catch the blonde man off guard "Hell in another world we could have even been lovers" he said bluntly. 

Draco choked then, he sputtered and struggled for words "Y-you're crazy" he stuttered, taking a large swig of his drink, draining the rest of his glass. 

Harry laughed a little, that was just what he'd wanted "All I'm saying is it could have been a possibility, you're a very handsome man Draco and if you hadn't been a total git in school I might have been interested" he said, taking it a little further.

Draco put his now empty glass on the table and crossed his arms "You're full of it, it's not polite to joke about such things" he said. 

Harry lifted his head slowly and frowned at the Slytherin, why did that bother him so much? "What makes you think I'm joking?" He asked. 

Draco shook his head "Because you have to be, Harry Potter - The pride of Gryffindor - could never be interested in Draco Malfoy, not even in a parallel universe" he said, as if stating a fact. 

Oh Harry did not like that one bit. He hummed and leaned towards Draco slightly "So you mean to say you've never thought about it? Never thought about the possibility?" He asked, voice low and cautious. It wasn't a joke and he wanted to watch Draco squirm as he tried to figure out that Harry was being serious.

Draco shrugged, suddenly he wasn't bothered? "Maybe in passing, like if one were to contemplate the existence of mythical creatures" he said, completely calm.

Harry held in a whine that was building up in his throat and leaned even closer "So all that unspoken tension between us as teens, never kept you up at night? Wondering why we affected each other so much?" He continued to press the subject. Come on, admit it.

Draco bit his lip, Merlin that was tempting. "Not even once" he said. That was a lie, Harry knew it was.

He leaned closer once more, he was now only a few inches from Draco's face "You see, I'm having a little trouble believing that" he almost whispered. His voice was low and a little gravely. It was painfully apparent that he was... Excited.

Draco's eyes drifted to Harry's lips "H-how much did you have to drink earlier?" Draco stuttered, finally the reaction Harry wanted. 

Harry shook his head "Don't try and change the subject, Draco" he almost purred. Flustering this man was far more fun than anything he'd done in a long time.

Draco took a deep breath and leaned back, putting distance between the two of them "You're intoxicated and not in control of what you're saying. I doubt you'll even remember this in the morning" he said. 

Harry whined then, that's it, he was done playing "Shut up and kiss me Malfoy" he said before finally closing the space between them and pressing his lips against Draco's. 

Draco froze for a second before kissing him back, placing one of his hands on Harry's cheek. Merlin this was perfect, this was exactly what he didn't know he wanted so much. Harry smiled against Draco's lips and moved to sit in his lap. 

Draco let out a sound from deep in his throat and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist. God do that more, Harry thought as he kissed the man more, after a moment he pulled away from the kiss - just a few millimetres to gasp in some air. 

Draco breathed raggedly "You don't know what you're doing Harry" he muttered. 

Harry shook his head and wrapped his arms around Draco's neck "Just give me this one evening, just one night where I don't have to be Harry Potter - the boy who lived. I just want to be Harry. Just one night" he almost begged. He finally had something worth hanging on to, even for only a night.

Draco bit his lip, he looked as if he was having a war with himself. Finally he nodded and pulled Harry in for another kiss, this one was softer. Kind and slow. Harry relaxed into the Slytherin and kissed him back, humming happily. 

~~~~~~

Silence filled the sitting room as Luna took in everything Harry had said. She placed her empty cup down on her table and leaned forward "So that's why you were so strange at breakfast" she concluded. 

Harry nodded "I was trying to pretend it didn't happen but he was acting so strange and I couldn't keep from worrying. When he didn't show up for dinner I asked around the house elves. I learned something that... Honestly scared me by how much it made me fall for him" Harry admitted. 

Luna leaned forward eagerly "Go on" she urged.

"Over the last few years he's been buying house elves out of abusive families and promptly setting them free of servitude, no one knows how many he's freed but it's a lot. There's one that still serves him. Poldey, she was the first he liberated. I got to talk to her, she works to transition the elves into their new life of freedom, as well as serving Draco when he needs it but he makes her call herself his best friend rather than his servant" he explained giddily "He even have her a bracelet to signify their friendship!" He exclaimed.

Luna gasped "Awe!" She cooed "I guess we all had him misjudged" she added.

Harry nodded enthusiastically "I got her to tell me his favourite dish and had it made for him. I took it to his room, long story short I saw his journal and it said multiple times he has feelings for me, I made him eat, we kissed a few times and when I realised I also have feelings for him I told him I had to go think and now I'm here" he finished.

Luna let out a large breath and sat back "Wow, do you know what you're gonna do?" She asked.

Harry shook his head "I'm terrified but I don't think I have the strength to resist him" he admitted.

Luna nodded "I think you should tell him. Tell him you're afraid, tell him you don't want to fight, just tell him" she suggested before stretching like a cat "Whatever you do just try not to self destruct" she added.

Harry groaned and nodded, he helped her clean up and left his friend's rooms, more than ready to sleep and put an end to this excruciatingly long day.


	9. Whiplash

(Draco's POV) 

A light knocking roused Draco from his slumber. He groaned as he slowly sat up, climbing out of bed. He rubbed his eyes and shuffled over to the door, opening it to see a disheveled Harry looking back at him. 

Suddenly the events of yesterday evening replayed in his mind and his heart began to race "Hey" Harry said quietly. He was fiddling with the hem of his pyjama shirt and looked as if he didn't really know what he was doing. 

Draco smiled a little, well he wasn't avoiding him clearly so that at least meant they were still talking. "Is everything alright?" He asked softly, running a hand through his hair in attempt to make it look less messy. 

Harry nodded, looking at his feet "I uh.. couldn't sleep. I know I said I needed to think but I'm tired and don't want to do that anymore" he admitted. Finally he looked up at the blonde, he could see how exhausted he was. Not just physically either.

Draco smiled sympathetically and stood aside "Come in, I'll make some camomile tea. Feel free to light the fire and make yourself comfortable" he said. 

The corner of Harry's lips twitched up into a smile as he walked into the room. Draco closed the front door and made his way over to the open kitchenette on the other side of the room. Harry walked straight over to the couch and pulled his wand out of his pocket, lighting the fireplace with a simple flick of his wrist. 

Draco smiled fondly at the Gryffindor curling up on his couch as he began making their tea. He really was quite adorable when he was tired, his emotional walls were a little less concrete and you could glimpse the real Harry underneath. Warm, kind, vulnerable. Everything that drew Draco in. 

He began to hum softly as he finished brewing the tea, adding a little raw honey for sweetness. Honey was always better than sugar when it came to camomile. When he was done he walked over to Harry to find him already watching the Slytherin intently.

Draco smirked a little "What's that look for?" He asked curiously as he handed one of the mugs to Harry. 

The man instantly blushed and looked away, taking the mug with a muttering "Nothing"

Draco chuckled and sat beside Harry, a little closer than he meant to but the Gryffindor didn't object, if anything he moved closer still. "So if I remember correctly, you seemed to find potions and herbology to be the most mind numbing in school, right?" Draco asked.

Harry raised his eyebrows in slight surprise and confusion "Uhh yeah that's right" he said, blowing on the liquid in his mug to cool it. 

Draco nodded and smiled "Excellent, what better to curb overthinking and intrusive thoughts by numbing your mind into boredom. You'd be off to sleep in no time" he explained. 

Harry smiled at him "That's... actually quite brilliant" he said before taking a sip of his tea. He hummed in delight and closed his eyes. 

Draco's heart fluttered "Try not to sound so surprised Potty, I'm not completely useless" he said teasingly. 

Harry frowned, opening his eyes and pouting at the blonde man "I didn't mean it like that Draco. You're often brilliant I just had no idea where you were going with it" he said. 

Draco smiled at him and looked down at his own mug of tea, Harry thought he was brilliant. "Thank you" he said quietly. He took a sip and regained his composure "Alright herbology isn't really my speciality but if you'd prefer it to potions I can grab one of my books or something" he began suggesting. 

Harry hummed taking a large swig of his tea "You know what? This is really nice the way it is. Can we just stay here like this for a while?" He asked.

Draco looked over at him and smiled "Yeah, okay. I'd like that" he admitted. So they sat there, sipping their tea, in comfortable silence. When they'd both finished, they put their empty mugs on the table in front of them. Draco turned to say something but found Harry slowly leaning over, he pressed a soft kiss on Draco's lips before cuddling up to his side. 

Draco was surprised at first but happily wrapped an arm around the man next to him. "Thank you, I feel much better" Harry said before yawning. 

Draco's heart was racing and he was certain Harry could hear it but he didn't really care "Thank you for letting me help" he replied in turn, happy to just be there with him. Draco held him close and pressed a kiss on the top of his head. 

Within a few moments Harry was fast asleep, Draco scooped him into his arms and carried the slumbering Gryffindor into his bedroom "You can have my bed tonight, darling" he whispered. He gently laid Harry down, covering him with the blanket and tucked him in. 

Harry stirred a little and began mumbling in his sleep "Are you an angel?" He slurred, still unconscious. 

Draco smiled at him "For you, I will try to be" he said, before pressing a loving kiss on his forehead. 

Harry settled and Draco yawned, he walked back into his front room and curled up on the couch, using the cushion Harry had been closest to as a pillow. It smelled like him. Just as Draco was drifting off he heard sniffling and groaning from his bedroom. What the hell?

Draco bolted upright and rushed into the room to see Harry curled tightly around himself, he was shaking and crying.

"Harry?" He asked concerned, the man didn't respond. He was having a nightmare. Draco approached the bed and gently nudged the Gryffindor "Harry wake up you're having a nightmare" he said. 

Harry's eyes shot open and tears poured out "I'm sorry" he said quickly.

Draco shook his head and silently climbed into the bed with him, he wrapped his arms around Harry and hugged him close. Harry stiffened at first but quickly relaxed and buried his head in the blondes shoulder. 

"There's nothing to be sorry for. I won't leave you again" Draco promised. Harry nodded and held tightly onto the man who clearly cared a great deal about him. 

Harry was soon asleep again and this time Draco stayed awake until he was sure Harry was okay. He held the man he'd become completely enthralled with and kept to his word, not leaving him for a second all night. 

*********

Draco awoke with a start as he heard his front door slamming shut, he sat up quickly and looked around. Harry, he was gone. Did he just leave? Was he upset?

Draco didn't bother checking the time or getting changed he shot out of bed, left his rooms and knocked on the door next to his "Harry? Is everything alright?" He asked worried. 

"Leave!" Harry called harshly. 

Draco flinched back from the door, what? They were on good terms weren't they? Did something happen while Draco was asleep?

"What happened?" Draco asked, confused and hurt. 

Harry opened the door angrily and glared daggers at the blonde man "Everything. Everything that's happened between us. It was all a mistake" he spat, beginning to close the door.

Draco put his foot in the way and opening the door again "A mistake?" he asked unable to hide the hurt in his voice.

Harry wouldn't look at him anymore "Please just leave Draco" he said softer, anger draining from him just as quickly as it had came on.

Draco shook his head "No, I don't believe you. I deserve to know why you're pushing me away and telling me it was a mistake because it sure didn't feel like one" he said determined.

Harry looked at him then, really looked at him. Green eyes boring into his soul "It was a mistake because I don't care about you! I don't like you! I don't love you! I don't want to touch you ever again!" he yelled, beginning to sound hysterical.

Draco flinched back looking at Harry in disbelief. He didn't know words could hurt this much. He shook his head again "No, you do care. Why did you kiss me? Why were you purposefully trying to make me jealous the other day? Why play with my emotions if you didn't care?" he asked pleading for the answer he wanted.

Harry looked away again "Leave me alone Draco" he said almost begging.

Draco wiped his eyes "I can't do that Harry. I've wanted this for so long, I can't just let it go" he admitted, he was planning on being so much more cunning and not revealing his weakness but Harry was his weakness. Hearing these things from him hurt worse than he ever could have imagined. He was completely exposed, he'd never felt this vulnerable.

Harry's hand slowly slid down off the door "I can't Draco" he said softly, voice almost a whisper.

Draco shook his head and took a step towards him "Why? Tell me why" he demanded, it was his turn to feel angry.

Harry took a step back and shook his head "I can't let myself care about anyone" he said softly "it's not safe" he whispered.

Draco shook his head "That's bollocks Harry! Tell me why" he demanded again taking another step into his front room and closing the door behind him "I'm not leaving till I get the answers I deserve" he said.

Harry shook his head "I can't" he said, beginning to shake.

Draco took another step towards him "You can Harry" he said softly.

Harry looked Draco in the eye and now he could see how raw Harry's pain was "Everyone I love either dies or worse. I'm a curse, a plague, leaving death and destruction in my wake" he said tears streaming down his cheeks "I'm not the saviour, I couldn't save anyone I cared about. Not my parents, not Sirius, not Cedric, or Dumbledore, or Fred, not Dobby, or Lupin, or Tonks. How am I supposed to tell my godson that his parents are dead because of me? I couldn't even save Snape" he said letting out a soft sob "Ron lost his brother, Hermione lost her parents and was tortured. I broke Ginny's heart. So many people have died and lost and been hurt because of me. I can't let that happen again" he said tears streaming down his face in steady rivers at this point.

Draco's heart broke seeing Harry in so much pain and how much he blamed himself for everything that happened.

Harry took a step away and shook his head "Merlin you lost your father because of me, how can you even look at me after that?" he asked voice cracking.

Draco shook his head and closed the gap between them, hugging Harry tightly "Because I've been infatuated with you since the day we met Harry. I never hated you, I may have been a dumb kid and acted like a stubborn spoiled brat but I have always cared for you. Our rivalry was the only way I knew that I could keep you in my life" he said hugging him tighter when Harry tried to pull away.

"I can't let you get hurt" he said through soft sobs.

Draco shook his head "That's not your decision to make, it never has been. All those people, and one very brave, courageous elf, didn't die because of you or even for you. They all had something to believe in and something to die for" he said gently stroking Harry's hair "Your godson's parents died so that he could grow up in a world without fear, he would have been killed before he even had a chance to live" he said.

Harry's shoulders shook as he cried into Draco's shoulder "Your f-father" he whispered.

Draco kissed the side of Harry's head "My father was a selfish man who saw me as a pawn to get more power rather than his son" he said.

Harry nodded slowly and hugged Draco back letting himself be held.

After a few more moments of them standing there like that Harry's tears stopped and he pulled away slightly to look at Draco "I'm afraid" he whispered softly letting that final wall crumble down.

Draco smiled warmly and wiped tears from Harry's cheeks with his thumb "You don't need to be. You can't push me away because you're afraid of things going wrong. You saved me in more ways than I can count. You solely stood in front of the entire Ministry of Magic and told them I was not responsible for my crimes. You saved my mother and I from going to Azkaban" he said and pressed a soft kiss on Harry's lips "I'm not going anywhere whether you like it or not" he said softly.

Harry smiled weakly "Stubborn git" he said softly.

Draco smiled and put his hand on Harry's cheek "Ignorant ponce" he said just as softly.

Harry chuckled and pulled Draco into a soft sweet kiss, slowly wrapping his arms around Draco's neck.

Draco smiled wider and kissed him back wrapping his arms around Harry's waist.

Harry hummed before slowly pulling away "You have no idea what you're getting yourself into" he whispered.

Draco chuckled and kissed Harry's forehead "Bring it on Potter" he said.


End file.
